The Wind
September 29, 2010 08:21:40
Posted By The Opening the Heart Workshop™

One of my patients, I”ll call her “Cathie”, a heroic woman in her 50’s whom I’d been seeing for a while, told me the following story last week. Cathie’s daughter had been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer when the daughter was a year and a half old. She was almost two when she began chemotherapy. One day Cathie took her daughter for a picnic at the beach and Cathie noticed that the strong off-shore wind began blowing clumps of her daughter’s hair right off her head. When her daughter saw the look in her mother’s eyes, she became frightened and started to cry, but she didn’t want to leave ‘pinnick’. So Cathie watched almost all of her daughter’s hair blow off, as well as her eyebrows. As a tear came down each cheek, Cathie said to me “I was glad I could hold her and kiss away her tears- but I had no one to hold me“.

Cathie’s family had gone away long ago. Cathie and her brothers and sisters had been sexually molested for years by an alcoholic and mentally ill father. And Cathie’s husband left her shortly after the daughter’s birth. Her story touched me deeply and, as my own eyes filled, I wondered what it was that so moved me. I think it’s the same thing that so profoundly touches me with so many of my patients: the basic fragility of our existence, all of us.

In Naomi Shihab Nye’s great poem “Kindness”, she urges us to open our hearts “to the fact that everything we cherish will pass out of our lives”. The author, Roger Housden, says that when we come to know this truth “as a lived experience, we shall also know a deep love and kindness”, because everyone is on the same road. Someone else’s pain and suffering are also our own. And when we experience that shared pain, it joins us to humanity.

So, I think the reason my own eyes filled when I heard Cathie’s story was, really, that her pain was also mine- not that I had been through the same life circumstances, but that suffering is a noble truth familiar to all of us. Despite what Cathie had been through, both growing up and, then, as a young mother, she was able to be totally present for her daughter and for herself on the beach that day. And in my office, she had enough courage to allow herself to be “held” by her therapist. And me, I have the privelege to witness every day this inspiring will to live.

“Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,

One must know sorrow as the other deepest thing…” Naomi Shihab Nye

With Love and Respect,

Jon

The act of giving is healing. When we allow ourselves to feel someone’s else’s pain and fear, and offer words of compassion, hope, and inspiration, we are generating an incredible energy that touches all of us deeply.  We open our hearts and make the impersonal, personal.  We don’t even realize how one word of kindness can have a profound and healing effect for someone else.

A humorous story can help, to lower the blood pressure of a cancer stricken man.  A quote of inspiration can tickle a child’s face and warm his/her belly.  An image of hope can  lessen someone’s bodily pain.   A word of peace  can give a woman the feeling of serenity, as she senses a calmness within her breast.  The collective voices of strangers  weave a colorful tapestry of  support that holds us in the Spirit of Oneness.  We can open our hearts and let go of our fear of cancer.

How can we touch the lives of others in simple ways?  Check in with yourself and see if you shut down when you hear the word cancer. Remind yourself that your fear is someone else’s fear too.  Remind yourself that when you give, you are letting go of your fear.  Open up to the possibility that you can help someone with the kindness and compassion that is part of our humanity. This is a wonderful opportunity to be part of the Whole.

I invite you to become Fans for The Healing Beyond Cancer Program ’s Face Book Fan Page. You never know how your words of kindness can help.

Thank You From My Heart,

Sonny

“Real calmness, authentic calmness, arises out of meditation — not out of cultivating a character but out of awareness. Meditation means awareness. Becoming aware of your anger dissolves it and dissolves it from your very depths; it even disappears from your unconscious. Then you are really calm, calm from the center to the circumference. Your whole being is calm. Then nothing can disturb you, neither life nor death. Nothing can disturb you.
Only when nothing can disturb you, when it becomes impossible to be disturbed, when even if you want to be disturbed you become incapable of it, then something really valuable has happened. It can happen only through awareness. It is not a question of practicing a certain character, it is not a question of pretending. It is a question of inner mutation, a radical change, a change at the very core of your being. Then it radiates to your circumference too, it transforms the circumference automatically.

It is as when you bring light in a dark room: darkness will disappear but the painting on the wall, the beautiful furniture in the room — they will not disappear. In fact in darkness they were not there at all because you could not see them. It made no difference whether there was a beautiful Van Gogh painting on the wall or not, it was all dark. In darkness it was almost as if absent. As you bring in light, even a small candle, the beauty of the painting suddenly explodes. Darkness disappears because darkness is false, but the painting cannot disappear; it is a reality.”

Osho,
Just the Tip of the Iceberg
Chapter #13

I remind myself to be quiet,  open and receptive. I try to be patient, open to possibilities.  My healing practice draws my focus inward, and loyally  presents all that shows up in my outer world.  The body aches and the Soul inspires. I am reminded of the preciousness of this life. It is too easy to forget.  Since my cancer, I am more attuned to my body and my Soul than I was before the cancer.  I have been looking for a special “product” to come my way  to promote health and well-being of mind/ body and Soul!!   And, I found it!  My body sings with this incredible  nutritious whole food, my heart beats with thanks, and my Soul soars.    Mila,  is a proprietary blend of chia, that has the safest and highest concentration of Omega-3 fatty acids, Antioxidants, Fiber and Phytonutrients of any source. I feel energized and  balanced, and I am happy to  know that I am providing my body with the best source of nutrients. Omega-3 fatty acids   play a vital role in our body, in the maintenance and enhancement of the immune system. Clinical studies have shown the importance of Omega-3 in the protection against  breast, colon, and prostate cancers.   I was so impressed with this product that I began to share it with everyone I know. The product is being introduced through LifeMax, a company with a Vision to “change the health and the wealth of the world”.  I had to check this out.   I attracted  a company that is offering an incredible opportunity and an exclusive  product for health and well-being.  As I mentioned in my previous posting, when we hold the energy of abundance,  we are not  affected by the negative energy of the economics of the outer world, and we attract possibilites that can change our life tremendously.  I am grateful for the ways in which the Universe supports our intentions.   I am  part of this awesome global expansion and I am aligned with a vehicle that supports worldly contribution through the energy of love and healing.   I am Nourishing my body and Feeding my Soul. Please feel free to contact me about more information, as it is my intention to share with you the gifts that come into my world.  Visit my other site  www.sonnyrose.LifeMax.net

I returned to my surgeon’s office a week later, feeling reluctant, yet compelled to deal with ‘what comes next’….I was semi-present listening to all the medical jargon, but obviously present enough to remember every emotional detail of the ordeal. That day turned into more days of numbness, fear, loss, and a general disorientation and dis-connection to my life as I had known it before the diagnosis.

I remember sorting through reams of information, talking to as many people as I could, trying to find support and answers…I realized very quickly, that this was another personal journey that would challenge me to pay attention to my inner guidance and get as clear as I could in order to make the multitude of decisions that would forever impact my life. This was the biggest test of my life!

I rode the wave of uncertainty and hope for the next 15 months. I lost a lot of weight. I hated the mouth sores. Chocolate ice-cream was my favorite meal. I cherished my friends and family. My cats gave me comfort. I actually liked my wig. The crisp cold winter air lifted my spirit and I became part of the Universe as I stared at the December stars. I felt a deep and compassionate connection to everyone.  Every time I sat through another infusion, I received hugs from my oncology nurses, and I wrapped their warm smiles around me like a blanket of love. I faced my fears as I climbed slowly to the top of the mountain, and I could see the beginnings of a new horizon.  Everyone told me how strong I was…I didn’t know what that meant. I just put one foot in front of the next, and continued the journey.

As I look back, I realize that I didn’t try to be courageous…it was a part of my being that seemed to just be there.  At our deepest core, is a part of our being that is ever-present and non-judging. My cancer journey opened me to many dimensions and many opportunities to be present with all of my being; the fears, the anxiety, the unknown, and the possibilities. This was all part of my journey.

It amazes me how, 7 years later, as I sit at this writing, the fullness of my journey is still unfolding.  I try to live fully; challenging my limiting beliefs,  and continue the practice of  living intentionally.  Sometimes I feel the courage, and sometimes I have to manage my fear. It is all part of this wonderful life journey.